An Update

So I sadly crossed my own blogs path several days ago and realized, for how much I love reading others blogs I can't seem to find the "time" to update mine. I have so much to update others on regarding the kids and our family I don't quite know where to begin. I will start with the good. Hannah and Ethan are growing up so fast before my eyes. I am happy to say that they get along great and often I find them playing together in the little playroom kitchen and sharing books. They both love books. Hannah is so smart for her age and she surprises me daily with the new things she is saying and doing. I told her the other day "I am the boss" and she said back to me "Mommy, why don't we both be bosses"? She knows the Lords Prayer and she says it to me every night before bed. She also has memorized the words to almost all of the stories we read to her. Ethan is also growing in leaps and bounds. For a child that we were told "may never walk", he is running!!!! We feel so blessed everyday for his progress with his motor development. He loves to build and to organize things and he likes to learn how things "work". He does many little fine motor skills that Hannah could not do at his age. He is almost always good tempered and mild mannered - except when he doesn't get his way or you want to change his diaper!
We have had several issues with his health in the past few months. We have noticed that he always seems a bit sick with a small cold that he never seems to get rid of and that usually turns into an upper respiratory infection sometimes resulting in a visit to the emergency room. They have given us a daily inhaler and a nebulizer for at home treatments, thank goodness!! This helps with the asthma and junk in his throat. He had gotten a chicken pox vaccine in January of this year and following that had six weeks of diarrhea!! It literally would not stop. They did food allergy testing, stool samples, and a blood test. Everything came out inconclusive except for the blood test. He had two types of antibodies that showed up low. What this definitely means is that he will get sick more easily than others and be sick for longer when he does get sick and that it will most likely always end up in his lungs. I was sad about this, but hopeful that it wasn't something worse. In the meantime I have had him on several different diets to stop the diarrhea: lactose free - for 6 weeks, then wheat free. It wasn't until I tried the wheat-free that I noticed a big change in Ethan. Whereas he only slept for 2 hours at a time before, he started sleeping 6 hours straight!!! Also he was less irritable and rubbed his eyes a lot less. I had the doctor try and test him for celiac disease but since his antibodies came out low they were unable to get an accurate result. We have went to a GI Peds specialist and they feel that he probably has a Gluten Intolerance instead of Celiac disease based on the fact that his reaction to eating gluten foods is within an hour. For people with Celiac it is usually within several days for a reaction. The next step is to get a genetic test done to see if he has the gene for Celiac disease. The only problem with this is that 25% of the population that has this gene does not have Celiac disease. So if the test comes back positive then we would have to put him back on a gluten diet for several weeks to get a stomach biopsy. I WILL NOT do this to him!! So my hope is that the Celiac gene test comes out negative and I can stop there. Knowing he is only Gluten Intolerant means that at a certain age he can gauge how much he can eat without feeling sick. Kind of like me - I can eat cheese but not milk or ice cream. We are still waiting to be referred back to GI and to an Immunologist regarding the low antibody blood test. Our insurance changed and now we will be going to Rady's Childrens Hosp in SD instead of Loma Linda. I am sad but it is sort of bittersweet for me. It was very hard to drive near that hospital because of the memories of when Ethan was small and could not be brought home. I stayed there because I loved the care and I hope I can say the same for Rady's.
This is just a bit of where we are right now. I can honestly say I LOVE staying home with the kids. Everyday they do something new to surprise me and I get sad when I think of Hannah going off to school and it just being me and Ethan. She is such a good girl and she's my little helper! They grow up way to fast although I do look forward to Ethan sleeping through the night! But - Hannah didn't do it until 2 years old and since he's a preemie I am gonna not expect anything until he is at least 2 1/2. Other than that we are all doing fine and looking forward to our first real "family" trip this summer. We are renting an RV!!! Should be crazy, I know but I love building these memories with my kids and I feel fortunate we can do so.

After much insanity and without further ado

I present........... an update!!!
It has been so long since I have written on here and the only excuse I have without making too many excuses is to say that I have had a mistress the last couple of months. Yes it is true my mistress is, dun dun dun, - Facebook. FB is much easier and consumes way less of my time. On the whole it probably consumes more but initially it is about a 5 minute look -see and it feels like way less of a commitment. Are there any "real feelings" or deep content on there? No. But I have liked it because I haven't had to "work" on it to make it right. Here I have to think about what to say, how to say it, and it has been much too difficult to use my few minutes in the day to compile a much larger final piece. Although I have enjoyed the time with my mistress I feel that I also need to make time for my wife. After all, the tryst was great but my wife knows me so much better. More posts to come. In the meantime..ponder my babies and how they have grown.

A Poem for the Lil' Ones

My Children

Their smiles
Their eyes
Their laughs
Their cries

The way they look
when I enter a room,
it as if their face
could jump over the moon.

Their tiny hands
I hold so dear,
One day may hold
their own babies near.

Every line
that shapes their face,
Every new freckle and crease
I know it's place.

As time passes so
swiftly and fades away,
A year ago seems
like yesterday.

What I want them to know
is I tried my best,
Did a whole bunch of praying
and let God handle the rest.

Hopefully having
a "small" success in life,
It's to be a great mother
and wonderful wife.


I say "small" because to some people this is just done by existing, to me it is something I work hard at.

As mommies we know things about our little ones that on one else does. What is something you know about your babies(children) that no one else does?

Lord give me Mercy or kill me now....

My Nana used to say this all the time when she was alive and I just used to chuckle. It never meant anything more to me than a saying she used to say all the time. It has a whole new meaning now. Do you ever have days that turn into weeks, weeks that turn into months, months into years, that you feel like you are waiting? The past few months since I was hospitalized before Ethan was born I waited for myself to go into labor, then I waited to some home to Hannah, then I waited for him to get out, then I waited for him to be off the breathing monitor, then I waited for him to stop having reflux, then I waited until I was not tired anymore....Today I am waiting for my blood test results to come back from the Endocrinologist. I had abnormal lab work about two months ago and with my HMO (die in a cot and not on the floor)ins policy It took about 2 months to get referred and get help for my sleepiness. I wasn't sure if I was sleepy because I wake up every two hours like a normal new Mom or if there was a problem. Well there was a problem. They now think I have an auto-immune thyroid disease. I will probably have to be on medication for a while and they are going to monitor me. There are many more worse things that I could have but being a person that likes to do everything I have not fared well with being tired all the time even when I do sleep. Do you ever feel like your waiting for something else? Is this just me? Do you need something to look forward to in the future? If not, how do you live in the moment?? I need to learn to live in the moment. In certain ways I never want to stop time until it is too late. Do you?

I have not abandoned you, my dear blog

I am so sorry to my readers, what few of you there are, that it seemed as though I left this old blog. Carefully placed it right on the top of that old dusty bookshelf, along with my 3 inch heels, and note cards of times that passed, waiting for a day when I thought I would have, I mean make, the time to write. I could say a thousand reasons why I have not written here but none of which would be true. The truth is that I wanted this blog to be more than an update of events passed but also a place where others thoughts could be shared and, in reading about my interpretation and experience with my own family, others that read could say if they felt the same or different too. The problem is I ran out of wanting to write. It began to feel like another responsibility and it did not fulfill what it should have because I was not giving what I felt I should have. After much time away I have made a promise to myself to come back with a blog that could include others thoughts and feedback. As a Mom that stays at home this is what I need more of in my life. As it is so important for others to read what I write here and connect to it, it is equally important that I write from my heart and instead of just re-telling simple "facts", state what is really happening in my life. Life with my children is more than just a percentile or a step and it is my goal to open my heart to my readers that are still there and tell them exactly what that more is. Stay Tuned!

Hannah in Vintage Dress

My Grandma Pearl's sister Aunt Gen used to make these cute dresses that are actually vintage pillowcases with a onesie on top. They are beautiful! When Hannah was born she sent one for her to wear when she got big enough. well yesterday we had her put it on and take pictures. She's into jumping big time and takes it seriously like it's an olympic sport so I got a really cute one of her jumping off her toy box. Anyhow here are the pics.
Enjoy!
Windy

Haven't posted in Awhile

Sorry all bloggers but we have been a little swamped since Ethan arrived home. He came home 3 weeks ago tomorrow and this is the first chance I have had to update with the good news. He is doing well but as expected no one is sleeping around here. Between him and Hannah we have out hands full! My Grandma Sharon and Ryan's Mom Lynn have been coming and helping us out and that has made it easier in the days but the nights are all us and it has been a real challenge to get used to. We are so lucky he came home healthy and we have been blessed with not one but two miracles. I wanted to post some pics of him so you could see what he looks like now. He is 9 lbs and growing bigger each day. Hannah is turning into quite the Mommy and helper too. She wants to give him his paci when he cries and she calls him Queaky for Squeaky b/c he squeaks a lot.