Thursday, May 14, 2009

Lord give me Mercy or kill me now....

My Nana used to say this all the time when she was alive and I just used to chuckle. It never meant anything more to me than a saying she used to say all the time. It has a whole new meaning now. Do you ever have days that turn into weeks, weeks that turn into months, months into years, that you feel like you are waiting? The past few months since I was hospitalized before Ethan was born I waited for myself to go into labor, then I waited to some home to Hannah, then I waited for him to get out, then I waited for him to be off the breathing monitor, then I waited for him to stop having reflux, then I waited until I was not tired anymore....Today I am waiting for my blood test results to come back from the Endocrinologist. I had abnormal lab work about two months ago and with my HMO (die in a cot and not on the floor)ins policy It took about 2 months to get referred and get help for my sleepiness. I wasn't sure if I was sleepy because I wake up every two hours like a normal new Mom or if there was a problem. Well there was a problem. They now think I have an auto-immune thyroid disease. I will probably have to be on medication for a while and they are going to monitor me. There are many more worse things that I could have but being a person that likes to do everything I have not fared well with being tired all the time even when I do sleep. Do you ever feel like your waiting for something else? Is this just me? Do you need something to look forward to in the future? If not, how do you live in the moment?? I need to learn to live in the moment. In certain ways I never want to stop time until it is too late. Do you?


Chiloe said...

Well, I hope you feel better soon. So many people have thyroid problems (probably because of the Chernobyl disaster) nowadays . Maybe you should check what kind of food you could eat or what kind of vitamins could help naturally (with the medecine).

Otherwise, I think it depends where you are in life right now. For instance, I, I feel good when I'm useful but now that the kids are in school, I feel bored, hopeless, useless, not important at home. I feel my life is empty. I know we should all live each day the fullest but my situation feel stuck ... and that makes me feel depressed. I often think what to have a college degree like I have to stay home? And here the job market is tough and it's very hard to find a job ... Years fly by very fast so the main question is: are you happy where you are right now?

Nancy said...

Hi. Came across your blog because of the mention of the autoimmune variety of thyroid disease. I have the same thing! Wanted you know that there's a thyroid patient website called Stop the Thyroid Madness which definitely saved my life. It's the best thyroid website on the net. She's also got a book which I have used a yellow highlighter in and now need a new copy. haha Here's the site:
It will help you a LOT. There's also a page specifically on Hashimotos, which you and I have. I think this is it:

waqar qureshi said...

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